2020 hasn’t been the best year for any of us. A lot of us are going through tough times. If you’re going through a breakup, if you just lost your job, if you just lost your loved ones, or if you’re just trying to cope with all of the changes that have been happening around you then I hope this blog helps you. These are the steps that I take when I want to move on and move forward with my life. I’m really hoping that my life experiences can help you, even in a small way.
Before we get into any of the steps, I just want you to remember that moving on and moving forward is something that’s really hard to do. You need a lot of time and effort to really get there. I don’t want you to feel any pressure throughout this entire process. At the end of the day, it’s your life and this is your journey. It’s really up to you how you would like to deal with the things that are happening in your life.
Remember to take things one step at a time, one day at a time and just keep doing what’s best for you so that things will just become better and better in time.
Let Yourself Feel
The first step is to let yourself feel. You have to allow yourself to really feel all of the emotions that you are feeling right now. A lot of people usually keep everything inside and they try so hard not to cry or they try not to feel hurt. It’s unhealthy to keep all of those feelings bottled up inside. This is why this is the first step because you have to acknowledge what you are feeling. If you are angry, hurt or sad; you have to allow yourself to feel all of these emotions. If you want to cry, you go and cry. Express yourself in a way that does not hurt yourself or other people. Feel free to express yourself. If you want to create art, if you want to paint or if you want to write–just do something. Find a healthy way to express your feelings and just go with it. You can also talk to other people (a specific person or a group of people) who will support you. I find that this is very helpful, especially when you just don’t know what to do. Expressing yourself and really feeling all of these emotions–it’s a really private thing. You do what you think is best. If you want to ugly cry or just cry for hours, you go do that. If you want to watch movies, while eating ice cream and popcorn and all the chocolates of the world, you go do that. Do whatever makes you feel like you’re actually expressing and allowing yourself to feel all of these emotions. If you feel hurt, betrayed or sad; you have to allow yourself to feel everything instead of just keeping everything bottled up inside and then later on, it’s just going to resurface. Then you’re just going to go through all the emotions again. Take this time to just feel everything and just go through it.
Forgive
Now once you’ve gone through all the emotions of the first step, the next step is forgiveness. I’m not just talking about forgiving the people who have hurt you but I’m also talking about forgiving yourself. It’s a sad reality that bad things just happen. People can hurt us, we can hurt ourselves. The most important thing is that, at the end of all, we forgive. We forgive the people who have wronged us even though they don’t want our forgiveness, even though they don’t ask for forgiveness and even when they don’t say sorry. It’s very important that within yourself, you forgive them. If you are the type to blame yourself for everything that’s happening in your life (I am very guilty of this) then this is really the best time for you to just forgive yourself. Know that it’s not your fault. Know that there are things that are beyond your control and just forgive yourself. It’s important that you forgive other people who have wronged you and, of course, forgive yourself so you can finally find peace.
The reason why forgiveness is so important is because if you keep all of these negative emotions within yourself, it’s just gonna be bad for you. The more you keep these emotions, you are allowing negativity to stay in your mind and heart. You’ll end up not being able to move on and move forward with your life, which is something that you really do have to do instead of just dwelling on all of these sad emotions. I know it’s hard to forgive, it really is. But if you can find a way to end up in a more peaceful place, then I strongly suggest you do that.
Accept Your New Reality
The third step is to accept your new reality. You have to learn how to live with all of these changes. You have to learn how to live without this person or without this job. You just have to learn how to live in this current life that you have. Forget about the past, forget about the people who you were with, forget about how your life was before. Just focus on your present. Focus on where you are at right now and try your best to move on and move forward from here.
I deal with breakups differently. I’m the type who would keep all of the stuff that remind me of this person then I put it around my house. The way I know I am over this person is when I see something that reminds me of them and I no longer feel sad or angry anymore–I just feel happy. These things that remind me of them now make me smile, because I realized that there is a reason why this person came into my life and there is also a reason why they are no longer there. You know what that they say, “be happy that it happened but don’t be sad when it’s gone.”
I want you to remember that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why this person was in your life at some point but now they’re gone. There’s a reason why you lost your job. There is a reason why all of these changes are happening. It’s because these are not meant to still be in your life. These are the things that are not meant for you anymore. Now you have to go out there and find something better. There’s always something better out there for you. You have to accept your new reality because if you don’t, you’re never going to move forward. You’re just going to be living in the past.
Whenever I lose something or someone, I look at it in a way that just makes me smile, because I’m happy that it happened. I’m happy that this person was in my life. I’m happy that they helped me in some way and that I learned a lot. But I’m not sad that they’re gone. Because I know that there’s a reason why they’re no longer here. And I know that it really is the best thing for me to leave the past in the past and just keep moving forward.
Look To The Future
Speaking of moving forward, this last and final step is to look to the future. It’s very hard to let go of your past but it’s very important that you look to your future and decide where you want to go. Remember, there is something better out there for you. There is something else that you were meant to find and that you will find eventually if you just keep looking forward. Keep moving yourself forward and don’t let your past or anyone in your past keep pulling you back. Remember to always stay positive and to always keep an open mind because you never know where your next life changing experience will come from. Be open to new people and new experiences so that you can move your life forward. Make sure that you are learning, growing and progressing as a person.
A very important part of this step is for you to take care of yourself. Self care is very important especially when you are going through something. No one else can take care of you the way you can take care of yourself. Remember, no one else can love you in the way that you can love yourself. You know all your strengths and weaknesses so it’s very important that you, yourself, love you. Because if you don’t love yourself, then you’re not going to try your best to better yourself to learn and to grow. I had to learn this the hard way. You really have to learn to love yourself because if you don’t love yourself, how do you expect other people to love you? How do you expect other people to accept you, when you yourself, don’t love and accept yourself.
This is a big part of moving forward. It’s all about developing a healthy relationship with yourself, loving yourself, accepting yourself, and living your life in the best way possible. Overall, just take care of yourself and everything else will just fall into place for you. Keep doing what you love to do, try new things and be open to the unknown. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, but never got around to doing it, go out and do it! If you’ve always wanted to start a blog, go bungee jumping or start a new business, this is the best way to push yourself forward and to learn from life experiences. You’re never going to learn and you’re never going to know if this is something that you’ll be great at unless you try it.
Those are all the steps I take to move on and move forward with my life. I hope that this has helped you, even in a small way. Another thing that really helps when I go through this process is to have a person or a group of people to be there to support me throughout this entire thing. Whether I’m in step one, step two, step three, step four, it’s really helpful to have someone to run to and just be there for you if you feel like you need help.
My last and final piece of advice is to just trust and believe in yourself. This is one of the most important things that you need to do if you’re going through this entire process. It’s something that really does take a lot of time and effort. If you do go through this process, you really have to believe in yourself. Believe you can do it. Believe you can go through this entire process. Believe you can actually move forward and move on with your life. Lastly, you have to trust in yourself and believe in yourself. That’s how you can successfully move on and move forward with your life.
I hope you learned a lot from my life experiences. Remember, there are always people out there who will help you no matter what you’re going through. You just have to reach out to them so that they can get the opportunity to help you. I hope this was helpful for you. I wish you lots of love and luck in your journey and in whatever you are going through right now.